


Someone I Loved

by vodka_and_some_sass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 06:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21070553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vodka_and_some_sass/pseuds/vodka_and_some_sass
Summary: You and Loki reunite after a rough break at a bar where you're performing.





	Someone I Loved

Loki sighed as Thor plucked the book from his hands.

"Brother, you haven't left the Tower in weeks."

Loki let his eyes fall shut as Thor's voice boomed over where he was lying on the couch. "Let me be alone, Thor. I wish to finish my book, if you please." He felt Thor move around him and opened his eyes to meet his brother's brilliant blue ones looking at him with pity. Rolling his own forest green orbs, he hauled himself up from the couch, stumbling a little as he got to his feet.

"You've been moping for far too long, Loki." Thor's voice was stern but even Loki couldn't miss the sympathy laced in it. "Let us go out, get drinks! Midgardian clubs have music that will take your mind off things!"

Loki's mind wandered to the last time he had been to a club. To how your hips moved against his in time to the ridiculously loud music. After listening to the bass thumping through the bodies pressed against each other in the mess of people, he was convinced that more often than not, Midgardians got noise and music confused. 

"Clubs are truly terrifying places." Loki made to take his book from Thor but Thor moved his hand away. 

"Then a bar, a pub? Anywhere you want." Loki didn't meet Thor's hopeful gaze.

"No. Now my book please."

"I won't bother you again if you come this one time." Even as Thor tried to bargain, Loki knew he was lying. Thor was used to getting his own way and would not stop now. The will to argue with him, to fight Thor had left Loki long ago. The will to do anything had left with you when you had grabbed the few of your belongings that had been scattered in Loki's room and had tearfully stumbled out of the Tower into the waiting taxi. His will hadn't stayed long enough for him to stop you, to tell you that he wasn't ready to give you up, to give up what you had. He couldn't bring himself to reach out for you when you turned to give him one last pleading look, silently asking him to stop you from leaving. He desperately wanted to tug you to him, to whisper lyrics you had once kissed into his skin while he held you under a million stars. 

_ I won’t give up on us _

_ Even if the skies get rough. _

His heart begged you to keep that promise while he lips remained closed in a tight line. How could he ask that of you when he was barely holding on?

Letting a heavy sigh slip past his lips, he caved. Not bothering to change from his slacks and black button down, he grabbed a jacket and headed for the door. If he was going to feel sorry for himself, he might as well go all the way.

“Loki, I don’t think this is the best idea.” Loki ignored Thor as he took in a deep breath and pushed open the old wooden doors. The warm yellow light felt welcoming, comforting even, as did the smell of old leather and heady spices that wrapped around him like a light blanket. Nothing had changed. Jason was still manning the bar alone, the old biker who had threatened Loki when he had first seen you and sent a flirtatious smile your way was in his usual corner. And then there was your voice, your deep crooning that enchanted him every time he heard you sing. When he turned to the makeshift stage set up in one corner of the bar, he realised that  _ almost  _ nothing had changed. You had.

Your sweater looked a little too loose, your body weighed down by an invisible burden and your eyes sunken in and dark, no twinkle in them even as they reflected the warm light of the room. Loki’s heart clenched when you gently whispered the first bars of an unfamiliar song.

_ I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me _

_ This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy _

_ I need somebody to heal _

_ Somebody to know _

_ Somebody to have _

_ Somebody to hold _

_ It's easy to say _

_ But it's never the same _

_ I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain. _

Ignoring Thor’s protests, Loki allowed his feet to lead him a few steps forward when you looked up from the mic, your eyes dull as they landed on his face. Your breathing hitched slightly and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him, his alabaster skin pale, cheeks sunken in and eyes weary, sad, heartbroken. You forced word after word from your throat, willing yourself to keep your walls up. 

_ Now the day bleeds _

_ Into nightfall _

_ And you're not here _

_ To get me through it all _

_ I let my guard down _

_ And then you pulled the rug _

_ I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved _

Loki couldn’t move suddenly. He wanted to run to you, to hold you tight against him. He wanted to tell you that you were never someone he loved, but the only one he will always love. 

_ And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes _

_ I fall into your arms _

_ I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around _

It was the silent plea in your watery eyes as you tore your gaze away from him that finally propelled him forward. He couldn’t bear to see you build walls to keep him out when all he wanted was to engulf you in his embrace and let his beating heart soothe your sorrows. Sorrow that he was responsible for. He turned a deaf ear to the murmurs of indignation as he pushed past the seated people who blocked his way to you. His eyes never left your face, even when a barbed wire wrapped itself around his heart as tears began to slide down your cheeks. His own threatened to fall when your clear voice broke into a whimper as you choked on the words of the song.

_ But now the day bleeds _

_ Into nightfall _

_ And you're not here _

_ To get me through it all _

_ I let my guard down _

_ And then you pulled the rug _

_ I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved _

He reached you as you let the last word fall like a sob from your lips. He stood before you, eyes shining with unshed tears, pain and hurt reflecting in those beautiful green eyes with every sob that left your lips.

“Loki.” His name was a whispered prayer as he reached out and pulled you into his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around you, a silent promise that he’d never let you go again, that you’d never ever become someone he loved. 


End file.
